Perpetual Emotion Machine
Album, 2006
Omega was the first new material I had written since 2001’s CTRL. It was also the first material I composed under the Perpetual Emotion Machine name.
The catalyst for writing new songs after four years was twofold. Up to this point, I had been creating music exclusively using trackers (like FastTracker). I had outgrown the tracker software and all the post-production tricks that I learned to make mod files sound more polished and presentable. So, in 2005, I began experimenting with a new tool, FL Studio. This material was initially tinkering but did become more solid over the next year or so.
The other reason for writing again was more personal. As those who have known me since this time, there is no explanation necessary. But for those who don’t…
I had already gone through a separation with the mother of my child, and a year after that, the two of them moved to another part of the country which made seeing my daughter expensive and complicated. Essentially all of the work on this album is the translation of emotions borne of that experience. Loneliness, despair, longing, guilt and remorse, to name a few.
The first song I wrote was Lullabye, which was actually a reworking of a track I wrote when I was a teenager, almost 20 years before. It was intended to be an ‘apology’ of sorts, to my daughter who was not near me. Similarly, The Flight Deck was also about my experience travelling to see her for the first time in two years.
The other tracks worked around each other until I had a ‘story’ in place which described the world I now lived in starting with those previous months. It is an extremely personal collection for me as everything flowed outward while composing and each time I listen to the songs, the emotions flood back to me as though they were fresh and sometimes it is difficult to remember that those things have passed.