The Flower Of Humanity

Fob 11


Not the original artwork.

Roundabout the middle of 1999, I was suffering a resurgence of a panic disorder that severely cripped my ability to hold down a job or indeed to really function normally in any capacity. As a result, I was housebound for many months and ended up being on some medication to even things out. I am not sure how successful that process was over all, but it did result in the completion of a new album of material for EtherReal.

Unfortunately, I had also lost my apartment because of the lack of employment and so I had no option but to move back in with my dad who, despite everything else he had done for me, was less than sympathetic to my situation, seeing me unable to leave the couch because of my agoraphobia. So when the option came along to housesit for a friend of mine who was going on a two-week business trip abroad, I jumped at the chance to get out of the house. Plus he was a fellow tracker and had a decent system to create music, which I was not in possession of at the time.

That being the case, virtually all of the music on Flower was written during that two week period. This respite was also during the two weeks surrounding the turn of the millenium. There was a significant amount of unrest and uncertainly about, generally speaking, because despite logic and reason, the spectre of Y2K was causing a stir and people arounfd me were very much moody and it wasn’t helping my mentla situation much.

So I essentially holed up in my friend’s place for those two weeks, not really wanting to go out, waiting for the world to end or not, and try to keep a handle on my headspace by composing music. This collection is not as cohesive an album as I would have liked, but there are some very interesting ideas in here, some of which I kept around for future projects.