Key / Perpetual Emotion Machine
from Candor
2016
This track is (semi-)unique in that it is being used for two artist monikers. Originally, this was written without a particular project in mind — but eventually it was intended for Perpetual Emotion Machine‘s cancelled Worry Box project, then as a track for an as-yet-unreleased ibigibi album The Depths. Its first appearance in any formal project is in a truncated and minimalized form as opening and closing tracks for Candor, the Key vocal album project, where the arrangement has been stripped down into two-minute bites. But originally, the demo was very much a hard drum and bass jazz composition with some really aggressive energy.
The main theme when writing this was that I was feeling very pointless in 2014, and rather than write music that sounded depressing, I though I would attempt to write something in a major key. I was inspired by Goldie’s collaboration with David Bowie in 1997 for the chord progression — major keys but with an unexpected twist in the sequence which gave the song an odd metaphysical feeling.
The original version did not have any lyrics, but some were written in 2023. It started off being mainly about me, but quickly moved in more of a social consciousness direction. Ultimately, this is about my perspective of all the things going on in the world that I am not in control of — wanting to make change but not knowing how, and also how it can cumulatively become a weight on your shoulders that is too hard to carry. George Michael’s song Praying For Time was something that was in my mind when writing these lyrics, and also accounts for my intended singing style.
Futility (Original Demo)
Perpetual Emotion Machine
The original demo which appeared on SoundCloud.
Futility (Demo 2)
Perpetual Emotion Machine
An alternate demo with a different set of loops and synths. Unreleased.
Futility
Key
The opener to Candor.
Fertility
Key
Instrumental reprise of the Candor version.
Futility (Album Instrumental)
Key
Futile (Rancor Dub)
Key
Remix/Dub Version.
Credits
written, produced and arranged by Key.
Lyrics
I look around me and I see
This feeling’s hunting me
Trying to drag me to the sea
Is this how is has to be?
I don’t know what to do
Someone tell me what to do
Why do I have to prove
That we have too much to lose
People tell me all the time
They try to change my mind
Things will get better in time
And life can be sublime
But I don’t know what to say
Someone tell me what to say
Make this feeling go away
Does it matter anyway?
Sometimes I feel like life’s a game
And I am losing
No regrets
I’m not ashamed
Mistakes were made
But it was all for this charade
I look around me and I feel
We no longer can conceal
Kindness has lost its appeal
And ignorance has been revealed
And I don’t know what to say
Don’t know what there is to say
Tell me it will be okay
Does it matter anyway?
We’re all grabbing for our piece of the pie
Each bite we take another person will die
We just never hear their cry
And I don’t know what to do
And neither do you
I wish it were not true
So we could start anew
Sometimes I think we are losing
It’s absurd and so confusing
I have had all I can take
So lift me up before I break